Hrmm... feeling rather satisfied now, cos just done 5 lectures of readings, and a socio essay, plus a econs tut haha.... morale of story, I cant study alone! Kind of a bad thing ya, unable to study alone, so easily distracted by my bed and succumb to temptation..
Played vball on friday, horrific performance..also dunno why, sometime on form, some kenna sai.. cant helped it also, can only look forward to the next time to regain form haa..but also dunno when can play again..

cny soon, am i looking forward to it? ya definitely, only to the renunion dinner part, cos its once a year i saw my close relatives one. Valentines coming too, but have no significance to me anyway, things dont really go that well for me, so just have to take and leave it, maybe the current situation is better also.

its 5thwk already... arghhhh....

A week since I last blogged, not that Im that busy, but rather its cos theres some problem with my home computer that I cant really access my own blog. So ya, Im actually in school now, waiting for vball session later.

The pageant is finally over, can really feel a sense of satisfaction when the whole thing went without any major glitch. Can still feel the music ringing in my ear now, particularly the song wonderful tonight played during the gown segment. But it also means the end of one event, and the planning of the next event, which is mine event.

Is it better to be straightforward, or is it better to be more reserved and aware of other people's feeling? This 2 thing is contradicting in my mind now.

Thats all for now, time to study.

There is no self, there is no individual, I and me does not exist. You are not who you are, but what others make you into who you are. Socialization, the creation of self.

Its been a week since I last blog, not including the hotmail thing of course. Anyway, it did work for me, my hotmail is now 25mb, and think it will become 250mb soon. So what have I been up to? The usual rountine of going to school, coming back home, eating dinner alone, helping out in the pageant, playing vball, fretting over my lack of motivation...Life...

And ya, the pageant will be happening on monday, hope it will be a success. And in case you guys didnt know, I am in the student union, in the main comm of the special project comm. Vice event-chair of union dnd, which will be some time in late july or early august. My event is still in its initial stage, but gotta start planning everything soon. First consideration, where to hold the dnd and what type of dnd will it be? I need some ideas of holding a unique dnd, away from the normal hotel prom type, so any fresh ideaS??

My nick last week goes like this:'available for dinner for the coming week, book me!' Anyway, those of you who did ask about it will know why, but im not going to elaborate it here. The point is, no one asked me out for dinner at all, no one. Where are all my friends? or so-called friends? Disappointed? not really, but was really hoping someone to accompany me for dinner, but then none offered to. hope...

Heres my definition of the situation, you might not agree with me, or maybe im reading too much into it, but just expressing my thought;
A hi-bye friend will not bother about me at all.
A friend will ask me what is it about.
A close friend will offer to have dinner with me.
A girlfriend will force me to eat dinner with her.


Think thats all for now, will update more when i feel better.

HOW TO INCREASE UR HOTMAIL STORAGE...


Follow e
>>instructions below.
>>
>>1. Sign in to your hotmail account & change your personal profile
>>in e Options as follows:
>>
>>Country: United States
>>State: Florida (choose another state if you want -
>>http://www.50states.com/)
>>
>>Zip Code: 33332 (choose another zip code if you want -
>>http://www.downloadzipcode.com/). Needless to say, you need to
>>enter e zip code that belongs to e state you've chosen.
>>
>>2. Then get to e Language options & make it English if it's not.
>>
>>3. If you don't want to lose your Inbox, click Put in folder.
>>From the menu, choose New Folder.
>>Create your new folder & go back to your Inbox.
>>Select e emails that you don't want to lose & click Put in folder
>>once more.
>>Choose e folder you have just created & e emails you have chosen
>>will be moved to that folder.
>>You can move them to your Inbox again later by e same method.
>>
>>4. Before signing out, paste e link below into e address bar &
>>press "enter" key. When e new screen pops up, click on "Close my
>>account".
>>Your account will be deactivated.
>>http://by17fd.bay17.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-bin/Accountclose
>>
>>5. Now visit e address http://www.hotmail.com again.
>>Enter your username & password.
>>The activation page will load.
>>Follow e instructions & click on "continue" to activate your mail
>>account.
>>
>>6. You're done !
>>Now your mail account capacity has grown to 25 MB & in a month or
>>so it will be 250 MB.
>>Enjoy your "enlarged" hotmail account!
>>
>>7. You might wish to switch back to ur original personal profile
>>after you are done with "enlarging" your hotmail account.
>>
>>Paste this into ur own bulletins everyone... Lets spread e good
>>things around :-)

talked to a friend today, and was saying that I had good direction sense. But right now, that ability is really lacking. I am lacking directions in my life, its a dark world to me. Everyday is just going through the motions. Whats is life? what is meaningful to live for? Another friend was saying that different people have different say on what is meaningful. To one, having a family life may be meaningful. Or to the other, it may be contributing to the society or being the best in their field to be meaningful. What is meaningful to me then?? What is meaningful to you? What is your life?

Went to school today for just a 2hr tutorial, initially thought its going to be a bad day, cos I dunno anyone in the class, then im one of those who reached there earlier. so its like one person sit one corner... kinda AS right? but ok la, tts normal i guessed. Anyway, the teacher looked like a nice person haa..from first look, and the way she teached really cute lor..say a lot of fei hua haa..
my mood these few days wasnt very good..the moody me again..no mood to do anything, not even watch tv. Cant concentrate on reading nor studying either....damn..

Had a long day today, lesson started from 0830 to 1830, and the last lecture was very dry and boring that i fell asleep for a while, really cannot take it.
Anyway, ya its quite true la, diary and blog are 2 different things. For one, I will not disclose any things too personal in my blog, things like family or relationship matters, or name certain people in this also. The very most I will mention is that I may be sad etc. So ya, what this blog contains is mostly my day to day happening, and as I try to reduce that, I will try to put in more and more of my thinkings, though I have been trying to do that for the past one year already. Another thing I want to achieve is to improve my writing skills, but even that is not very successful as I find myself adding lots of singlish into my blog.
And ya, I went to farmart over the weekend, and while walking in, there was this malay couple who stopped their car, and give us a ride in. I was really really touched by them. After all, there were many cars before them who just zoomed past, and they are the only one who stopped with their heart. Really touched. This is what I like about Singapore, we may be different races, but we are all Singaporeans, and we help one another. Of course, there lies many racist people around us, but I do hope that they will change their thinking some of these days. Once again, thanks to the malay couple, they made my day :)

Went for my first ever sociology lecture today..hrmm... felt quite sleepy haa.. not becos of the lecturer, but becos I didnt sleep well last night. Anyway, theres 2 lecturers, and well, they were cracking jokes all the way, which was real good cos it makes the lecture more interesting and lively. Regarding the subject, the impression I got after their introduction is that, everything is quite subjective, theres no definite answer to any questions. I still dont quite get what sociology is about, but at least it looked interesting to me hehe.. at least more than the environmental management lecture the day before. siying, care to give me a brief summary? hee..:)
Well, guess I will settle with this timetable le, 4day week, with my wednesday free.

Anyway, I still cant get into study mode yet. Was telling myself to chiong now, but then tomorrow always seem a better time haa.. thats why my msn nick now reads 'war starts tmr'. Gotta really work hard for this sem le, to give myself a choice in the future, as to which specialisation to chose. So ya, with everyone around me striving to work hard too, i have to work doubly hard now. To get 4 As, is that possible? At least thats my goal, a target to look up to, but also a aim that will cause tremendous stress to myself. So for now, concentration is the key.

My dog is sleeping on my bed now, as he always do at this time of the day. His ear is bleeding, or bleeded, from the constant scratching by his legs. Still cant fins a way to stop him from scratching, anyone got any suggestion? The wound is actually quite bad now, so ya got to find a solution soon.

Bought the OB text today, $46.20. Bought the socio text today, $17. Why university texts are so ex... and my socio lecturer was tell us how fortunate we are, cos in the US, students will spend up to US$500 each sem on buying their texts, and they are not even given a choice on whether to buy or not, whereas in Spore, at least in ntu, we can chose not to buy, though that is often not really a choice. But well, cant really escape from this way of life either.

"Not making a choice is a choice itself". This quote is from my sociology class as well haha.. seems like everything today is only about sociology(and ya, today i started reading my sociology text haha..). Anyway, was thinking about the quote and ya, when you dont make a choice, you are making a choice. Its like when you face a certain problem, and you chose not to make any choice, you are actually making a choice of running away from the problem instead of facing it. But then again, sometimes walking away is a good choice too. I also dunno what im talking already haa.. sociology ar.... And prof was saying the lessons will change our life, we will become more depressed and we will start asking lots of questions and look at things in a different way. Well, Im influenced already..

My dog changed his sleeping style now, hes curled up like a dog. ok, hes a dog...=P Anyway, I just cut my hair haha...you heard it here first! Went to QBhouse, and was greeted by konichiwa..can see their marketing strategy in progress, trying to impress customers because Japan is linked with all things good and stylish etc..and on their shop wrote about how their hairstylists are professionally trained in japan etc.. who knows, maybe the only thing they learned in japan is konichiwa?.. Anyway, back to the point, after all Im one of those attracted to give them a try. So ya, walked in and put my $10 note into the machine, and it keep rejecting it.. only got accepted at my 4th choice. Hrmm im side tracking a lot leh... Btw, ya, i was there and asked her to change my hairstyle..btw, shes an auntie..or at least she looked like one and not one of those "professionally trained in japan" hairstylist. She suggested the spiky hairstyle.. and ya, after something like more than 10mins, my hair is done, I got a free comb, and lost my hair and money there. But well, think the cut is quite ok la, will post my photo up soon, then you all judge for yourself.

After that I went to get a hair dye, finally settled on light reddish brown, $9.90 only leh, now really cheap, cos the stuff came from malaysia. Theres a $8.80 one, but it came from indonesia. So ya, not biased towards any country la, just that I chosed the one with more english words and less unreadable words. My hair now.. can see the colour la, but its not as light as on the box la, think will lighten somemore after a few wash, like the previous one, which after one month, people thought that I dyed again, and I had to shown my white roots to prove my point.

So ya, spiky hair now, or till i put my gel, haven tried it yet, just bought also. A new look, for the new year, for the new resolution.

Wow, quite a long post isnt it? sometimes when i saw such a post, I will be lazy to read it one. So if you are reading this, hey thanks man, you are indeed my loyal reader haha... im crapping now..

my dog change position again, head on bed, body on floor.

Anyway, thats all for now la, not that im done with writing, but I think you are done with reading hehe... tataz!!

haha.. finally got my much awaited ge, sociology!!!! but because of that, i changed the tutorial of one of my core subjects, so will be alone for that subject le. But then also no choice la, its a trade-off, at least now i reduce my break time, and i can wake up later on thursday le yippie!!!0

Started 2 days of school already. Yesterday went for a seminar that only announced that theres no lesson like 1hr plus before the lesson, and i ended up waiting in school for 4hrs, so idiotic. Then today had another 3hrs break in between 2 lectures again. Whos the stupid person scheduling my lesson manz... idiotz....and ya, this sem subjects all seem so dry...very jialat..
Anyway, its only the first week of school, so I dont have any tutorials this week also, so wont see my new classmates till next week. Been hanging out with my ex-classmates during lectures now.
And ya, I still undecided about what ge I should take, and its driving me crazy. Why did sociology clash with my lesson...if not I wont have any qualms taking that manz... and then I didnt get psychology either, and nobody dropping it yet. What to take!!!??? Actually I decided to take environmental management, but after seeing the notes, kind of chicken out, cos its like so hard lor. So decided to go to the lecture tmr to see see first. Think will be going for the singapore society(one of the module under sociology) on thurs too, but really wont want to take that, cos it means i have to wait 2 hrs after my last lesson which end at 230pm, enough of waiting for me, especially after last sem 5hrs waiting for malay lesson. sigh...
Went to the iceskating rink today and yucks....its closed... idiotz.. just when i decided to come, they close down for repair... idiotz... things are not going my way...

Got this reply from my friend who read the busstop.


harlow,yapp,
happy new year. Quite interesting
read you posted here. I think we must never shut
out any possibilities in life as all roads lead to
ROME. The end point is the same only if we were
willing to look for other ways to reach there.
Thanks for sharing the story.

HM


What do you guys think of it?

Vball cancelled 3days in a row le, rain rain rain...
Well, its a new year already, year 2005. Was down at esplanade area last night, and it was raining and raining, dampering the spirits of the people there. In fact, you could feel that this year countdown is a sombre affair, certainly not helped by the rain, and the cancellation of fireworks. So there I was, drinking vodka..or is it vodka? At least thats what the label said, and I still have a long way to go in learning all these things. Anyway, I had been drinking a lot in the past week, 4 times in 7 days..christmas eve, day after boxing day, the day before at my fren's bbq, and yesterday..Im becoming a alcoholic haa..
Now im fumbling over what to take for my ge. It could have been much easier if you have a friend taking with you, but then now that im alone, there are so many factors to consider, and reconsider. Everything is so troublesome..