Es el fin.

I feel empty..
Maybe I shldn't when I'm the initiator
but there was just too much animosity
that it seems like the only choice at that time

the photos are still up
and I kept it to myself
because I thought there might be a chance
that I will remember
but it all came too late


Writing this on 11-Jan-2011.. just so nobody will bother to come n read this post..
It's probably too late to say this now, but I miss you.
Falling in love was an easy thing.. getting you to fall for me is one of the most magical things that have ever happened to me, something I never thought would happen to me. You always have wierd ideas which made me laugh, but at most times you showed a maturity which I admired. I never thought you would fall for me, for I was never a top choice, and was ready to give up when I was graduating, for the simple fact that I would no longer have any reasons to meet up with you. No more lunch kaki, nor study together, or to meetup with og. But things kind of fall in place, and 2 people fall in love. I love you and I love so many things about you.

Life with you have always have been smooth sailing, so smooth that I took it for granted. You always have been ahead of me in terms of maturity in thinking, and my immaturity have let me down. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I gave up too easily then. I believed it would get worse, and yet I didn't make much efforts to savage it. Instead, you were the only one keeping us afloat at that time and taking things in your stride until the end. You deserve more from me, really.

i made a promise and I couldnt keep to it.

I couldnt remember why or how things get bad now. Time is a wierd thing, it makes you forget, but it also makes you remember. It makes me miss you, and makes me hate myself for giving you up in the first place. But it's time to wrap up this episode, and put behind the past. You have moved on, and so do I, and we should make it work this time. I just want to say thank you, for all the attention you lavished on me, for all the efforts in making me happy, for all the time you given me.

This is what I written in the past, I wrote lots of crap in the first letter, but here's the real reasons..

100 ways you make me fall in love with you
1. The way you make me smile
2. Your endeavor in not wasting time whenever you shouted青春不留白
3. Biting me like you are a small kid. “我很想咬人“
4. When you “Eh, 看那边“ whenever you want to do something to me
5. The way you like to tickle me
6. Your laziness in going for breakfast to get more sleep
7. Your passion in making a relationship work
8. Your indiscriminating attitude towards people
9. Your love towards your family
10. Your sporty nature
11. Your love for shopping
12. Your innate ability in sleeping, anytime anywhere
13. Your beauty, you are beautiful
14. My dear vicechair for UniPageant
15. Playing msn games with me till 430am
16. Your courage in trying new things
17. Not afraid of falling down when learning iceskating or blading
18. Your surprise appearance when I passed my driving
19. Your support for me when we went to build sand sofa
20. Your hobby in being late
21. The frantic search for your Ezlink card everytime
22. The one hour plus needed for packing your luggage
23. Cheering me up whenever I was feeling down
24. Being chased by a dog at your farm
25. Always eating a lot, and then said that you are very full
26. Constant biting of your fingernails whenever you feel anxious or simply in thoughts
27. Always lost in thoughts during meetings, then coming up with strange ideas
28. Your beautiful voice
29. Laurel 216
30. Watching dramas and movies together with you
31. Your description of the Bison as “cute”
32. Making me win an ipod
33. Whenever we go and eat 小笼包
34. Skill in doing puzzles
35. Kris, remember I gave you this name?
36. Eating Japanese food at Bridge Bay
37. Your love for rainbows
38. Calling me papa
39. Telling me you got a new pet when we were on the train in Taipei.. and turns out you are talking about the vibrating dog -_-
40. The announcement of your arrival, via the dragging of your feet
41. Persuading me to put on face mask at SAC
42. On the mrt during UOC, when terence and darin said their traffic lights are yellow, you asked them “ 你们为什么吵架？“
43. Collecting ladybirds at Storm Point
44. Eating Diary Queen in the car at West Yellowstone
45. Your unique thought process
46. Suggesting that we could exchange hps when I said my phone is fragile and Im scared of breaking it
47. Holding hands with me
48. Watching you sleep
49. Taking care of me when Im vomiting that time.
50. Running with me at Lone Star Geyser to see the sunset
51. Correcting my pronunciation
52. Your contagious laughter
53. Your cute voice on the phone
54. Whenever you say “你死定了”
55. One gallon of blood
56. Feeding my jacket at every opportunity.. ben ben
57. Because you accepted my jacket!!! Haha..

I never got to a hundred though.. The last one is in the photoframe, behind the crab.. if only you found that.

i hope you are happy, and stay happy always. Love your smile.

Brillant!

Its 2010.. and its only in recent weeks that I realised im gonna be fking 27 this year!!! omg.. im going to be late 20s soon..its crazy. shouldnt let time pass by sp easily, nor let things hold me back from doing what i want. We should all live like we are dying



You should make a bucket list too! If you ever watched The Bucket List before, then you would know what I'm talking about.

Make your own.. if you have no clue, check out this website..
http://www.squidoo.com/100things